That’s the thing about pain: it demands to be felt.”
– John Green
Having a lot of GI testing done lately. I got my gastric emptying study out of the way Thursday. Esophageal manometry & 24-hour esophageal pH test tomorrow. Not particularly looking forward to either, especially since we have to travel to Wake Forest Baptist yet again (1.5+ hours). Apparently we have to drive all the way back early Tuesday morning so they can remove the esophageal pH tube..?!?! I find it ridiculous to travel just for them to yank it out, but alas that’s the rule…
Thankful for amazing friends who truly “get it.”
This guy knows me– the good, the bad, and the downright crazy– and calls me his friend anyway. I don’t have to put on a mask nor try to justify myself at every turn.
Whether sending me memes or bringing me roses from his garden, he is always there to remind me why life is worth fighting so hard to live.
In many ways, we’re very different but in the ways that matter, we are eerily similar. He knows firsthand what it’s like to live in a broken body and is always up to commiserate. Our conversations are never dull, and we never run out of things to discuss.
He understands that social interaction is exhausting sometimes and doesn’t get upset when I don’t text back for days on end. He meets my absence only with care and concern, letting me know he gets it and is excited when he finally does hear from me.
We roast each other nonstop. An outsider might think we hate each other. Or that we’re a married couple. Or perhaps both.
He is one of the very few I look forward to seeing, even on days where I feel like crap mentally and physically, because I know I can just be. He reminds me that he loves me the same on my bad days and somehow manages to make such days a few shades brighter. I always leave our interactions better off than I came.
He makes sure we stop for rest breaks on long treks up the hills and doesn’t make me feel self conscious about the need to do so. Even though he pokes fun, he understands my hatred for stairs.
He gives me props where they are due, but isn’t afraid to call me on my shit and hold me accountable.
He appreciates my weirdness and is always down to hear of my crazy misadventures. He shares his stories, too, not bothering to hide the fact that he is just as quirky. We know that we don’t have to hide our flaws and struggles from one another, but instead are a team in the brokenness. One of our many unspoken understandings.
He is an endless fountain of encouragement, compassion, and really, really bad humor.
Thank you, Justin, for being you.. ❤
I’m almost afraid of how bad my mental state is right now. I just had to say that to someone.
Only 3 days left until Duke Children’s Hospital Prom!! Feels nice to have something to look forward to 🙂
This year’s theme is outer space. I’m interested to see what they do with that and what the overall turnout will be. Last year’s Prom was amazing, and I imagine it’s only gonna be better this year 🙂 I can’t wait to see everyone!!
Throwback to Falcons Cheer Camp in November of 2011! Taylor and I were assistant coaches and both of our little sisters were on the team. Bre is #3– she’s so adorable! She was 12 when this video was filmed. But even though this camp was about the middle school squad and this video was made to help teach them, I’ve played it over and over to selfishly watch myself. I’m torturing myself remembering my vibrant, healthy days and mourning my past life. And maybe, just for today, that’s okay.