This Is Not How Life Is Supposed To Be

There are so many things I should be doing, places I should be exploring, and memories I should be making.  But instead I lie in bed, writhing in pain as hot, salty tears soak my pillow.  My body feels heavy, my chest feels hollow, my thoughts are all over the place, and my head feels like it might explode.  I am merely a shell of my normal self.  Most all of my “friends” no longer talk to me or even care to acknowledge I still exist.  This is NOT how life is supposed to be.  I can’t stand living like this.  I am a prisoner of my body and mind…on the outside looking in as my peers reach milestone after milestone, leaving me in the dust.  It’s hard not to become grossly depressed.  But I promise you, this will not be how my story ends.  I am so much more than my life circumstances, more than these illnesses and more than this pain.  I may not know what will come next, but I am still in charge of my life.  That shred of power, although small, gives me hope.  I am sick…I am hurting…I am exhausted– but this cannot be forever.  This, too, shall pass…

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