A few months ago, I bought a lock box to use on days I’m feeling especially defeated. You set it for a certain amount of time, and the box will not open until that time has passed. There are no loopholes or ways around this: trust me, I have tried. When the urges are screaming in my head and drowning out all logic, I lock away my medicines, razor blades and anything else I might use to hurt myself.
Doing this takes an indescribable amount of self-control, especially in those moments when all hope seems lost.
I don’t know whether to be ashamed or proud of myself.