Is This Because I Named You Terd?

Throwback to when I found my duck Terd Jr. in the toilet.

He & Squirt were in their cage in the bathroom because maintenance was coming soon to do a carpet inspection. (Yes, I was indeed hiding two ducks in my apartment– that is beside the point.)

I still vividly remember hearing a loud splashing noise & running in to find…well…this.

Don’t let his little face fool you: he was not deprived! I gave him baths & let him swim all the time. But he had a condition called Angel Wing which meant I had to wrap his wing & he couldn’t get it wet for a few days. I suppose this was his form of rebellion & teenage angst. Stinker.. 😉

And this, my friends, is why we cannot have nice things…

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Ode To My Feeding Tube

Oh, my dangling companion

Precious link to my jejunum

Once enemies, now my closest confidant

Inseparable team

How I appreciate your friendship

Your quirks, clogs, spills and drips–

I’ve grown to love them all

Tube that makes me normal,

Tube that sets me apart.

Sustainer of life, my ticket to the future

Proudly protruding from my abdomen

Durable through the constant tug-of-war

Between inside and outside

Illness and wellness

Life and death

Warrior, bypassing paralyzed organs

Knight in plastic armour

Surpassing the traitors within

Reminder of a winding journey of ups and downs

Pain and triumph

Sign of strength yet revealer of weakness

Thank you for your service, you beautiful little paradox

(Written for ENG 289…lol)

Souvenir, Anyone?

Ever wondered what a J-tube looks like?  Well, wonder no longer!  This baby gives me all my nutrition and medications.  It bypasses my paralyzed stomach and goes straight into my jejunum.  But…do you see the problem with this picture?Screenshot 2015-09-25 at 4.03.56 PM
I’ll give you a hint:  in order to get the nutrition, the tube must reside INSIDE your intestine.  This little tubie got ripped out when I passed out and fell down the stairs (#DropItLikeItsPots).  It’s just been that kind of week.  Oh yeah, and by the time anyone decided to do anything about it, the stoma was completely closed and the balloon left inside was infected so turned into a full-out surgery that REALLY knocked my down about ten steps. Ugh…

Gallbladder Surgery

OR nurse: “Please tell me your full name, your birthdate and procedure.” Me: “Cassidy Celeste, 11/10/94, and I’m here for a sex change.” Apparently I thought I was a lot funnier than they did.. 😉

Surgery went very well yesterday! Waking up from anesthesia was rough, but there were no complications with the actual procedure. Here’s to no more gallbladder attacks!

It’s Not What It Looks Like…

I’m underweight and haggard looking, haven’t brushed my hair in days, and have needle marks all over my arms.

IMG_5727If someone didn’t know better, they might think I’m some kind of junkie and, even though I know and my pharmacist knows I’m not, I can’t help but feel a little self-conscious standing in line at the pharmacy to get my narcotic medication…